Poached Tilapia With Things


I know, I said I'd be sardonic if I posted savory recipes. I'll try. Three glasses of wine in, I find it hard to be sardonic, and easier to be jolly. But not sweet, never sweet.

I made this delicious meal tonight off the top of my brain. Well, that may not be true. I technically have been concocting the recipe since yesterday, when I had the idea, carefully planning and then winging what I didn't know last minute. It turned out lovely.

What's this meal, you ask? What are the things? Alright, fine. I'll tell you. Since you insist.

This is tilapia. Tilapia poached in (get ready for this) butter, coconut oil, olive oil, mirin, lemon juice, orange juice, rosemary, salt, pepper, onion, garlic, and chives. It's served with a bed of rice, fragranced by lavender and chervil, mixed with peas and pearl onions. The side is braised heirloom carrots, their purple colour the only distinguishing factor from regular carrots. The sweet crunch is the same. On top is a mango-avocado salsa.

It was, I kid you not, a pretty decent meal.

I was having a hard time figuring out how sweet it might be, versus how salty. I have a tendency to undersalt fish because I think... well, it should be salty, right? Even if it's freshwater fish. This is a problem of mine. But I figured if I made the tilapia mild, buttery, rich, but not overpowering, the salsa on top would shine through. On top of the fragrant and flowery rice?

Deep sigh. I'd eat that meal a hundred times.


My friend Jack came over to help me make it. He provided the wine, the carrots, and the tilapia (and the coconut oil, which I won't lie, I'm also going to use for my blue hair and my wrinkles) and I provided the cooking. We've been watching Space Ghost and I convinced him to wash the dishes. He too thought this was an enjoyable meal (as he should, he gets to take it home as leftovers; I cannot. I have a flight to catch Tuesday and I'll never finish it with all that I have to do and all the avocados left in my fridge to eat).

Anyway, jeez, you guys don't want to read all this stuff. It was really good, please make this. It's so good and it'll probably do something healthy for you. Coconut oil and olive oil are good for you. So is citrus. Butter who knows.


Poached Tilapia with Lavender Scented Rice and Heirloom Carrots

Poached Tilapia

3 fillets tilapia
1 orange, halved
1 lemon, 1 half sliced into thirds.
3 garlic cloves, skinned
1/3 onion, sliced
1 1/2 tablespoon coconut oil, divided into thirds
3 tablespoons butter, divided into thirds
3/4 cup Mirin, divided into thirds
3 Sprigs Rosemary
9 or so sprigs of chives, divided into thirds
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Salt and Pepper to taste
Heavy Duty Tin Foil

Preheat oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit.

These directions are for each packet of tin foil. Separate each ingredient evenly into each packet. Layer first the onion pieces and garlic, then a section of butter. Then the tilapia. Then the coconut oil and the rest of the butter. Then the chives and rosemary. Coat with salt and pepper. Squeeze orange and lemon juice (from the halves) on the tilapia. Pour olive oil and mirin on top. Top with a lemon slice and fold up the aluminum packets into thirds with room on top for steaming. Make sure the ends are tightly wrapped and closed, like a little package.

Cook for approximately 20 minutes or until fish is tender and flaky. Don't check these packets every two minutes if you get antsy; they're steaming and poaching in their. You'll let out that deliciousness and then you'll really be sorry.

These are probably really poor instructions. If that's the case I'll fix them later.

Lavender Scented Jasmine Rice

1 cup Jasmine White Rice
1 1/2 cups water
1/2 cup peas and pearl onion frozen vegetable mixture (I know, I know...)
1/2 teaspoon dried lavender
1/4 teaspoon dried chervil
1 tablespoon butter
salt to taste

Boil rice and water for twenty minutes or according to the package of your bag 'o rice. At the tail end of boiling, add in peas and onions, butter, lavender, chervil, and salt to taste. Serve!

Mango Avocado Salsa

1/2 cup mango, neatly chopped
1/4 onion, neatly chopped
1 avocado, cut into those neat cubes in their shell
1 jalapeno pepper (I actually used half of one red one and one green one), finely chopped
1 large clove of garlic, finely chopped
1/2 roma tomato, chopped
Leftover juice from the orange from the tilapia recipe.

Mix together. Chill and serve atop tilapia or just eat it! Just eat it!!!


Roasted Heirloom Carrots
Recipe Provided by Jack Cusomano

When Using Gigantic Heirloom Carrots, use 1 1/2 and chop. These are huge.
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1/2 Tablespoon Herbs de Provence
2 Garlic Cloves, rough chopped.
Salt to Taste

Heat oven to 400 Degrees Fahrenheit.
Place carrots and garlic in glass baking dish, coat generously in olive oil. Sprinkle with salt and Herbs de Provence. Roast for 30-35 minutes, until tender and starting to brown.
coat in olive oil, rough chopped garlic, salt and herbs de provence, roasted at 400 degrees for


I bet you can imagine how to serve this. Put some rice on the plate, put the carrots on a plate, unwrap the fish, put the fish on the plate. Drizzle with a bit of sauce. Top with salsa. Enjoy with some mascato. Or something else.

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